Tuesday, December 30, 2014

twothousandfourteen

Here we are boys and girls! 

One day away from a new year! So while you are thinking of New Years resolutions, goals, pounds you want to lose and hairs you want to cut....here I am excited to tell you things I have loved, learned, maybe regret about this past year. my last resolution was to read 12 books. One for every month. I honestly did it and yes they were chapter books. I decided not to have any goals this year and just to be good at what I'm already good at. I guess that is a goal afterall....






So with much anticipation here are 10 (because 14 feels too long) lessons/ideas/etc I learned in 2014:

1) Be a friend who shows up. I've gotten better at this in 2014 because of example. We don't like to ask for help. It's a weird and stupid tick we humans pride ourselves in. But when I was sad, discouraged, tired, packing boxes, etc, and I had my friends ask to help.... I decided to let them because 1) they would or 2) they were just saying it to be nice and that means I didn't have to worry about sending them a Christmas card. JUST KINDA KIDDING! So these friends that showed up showed me how to show up.  (Woah.) And when their kids were sick I brought them food, when they needed help I helped. I showed up unexpectedly and brought coffee because that is what friends do. My friend Shanna told me "Sometimes you don't know what you need until someone gives it to you." Thad was in the hospital with croup and she showed up, brought me a book, a hot drink, and sat with me. And it has changed me. My friend Carly drives 6 hours to be at my son's birthday partys even if it's a less than 24 hour trip because she wants to be here. My friend Emily checks in almost every other day to see how I am doing just because.  I've made some lifers this year and they have taught me well.  So book flights and visit. Cook extra food and share. Tell someone why you like them. Show up for your friends.





2) Don't judge moms for being on their phones at the park because we play with our kids all day and now our children are occupied so I'm going to check my effing Instagram.

3) There is nothing wrong with having a few favorite swear words in your vocabulary. I'm sorry I'm not sorry but there is something incredibly freeing in telling your husband about the "asshole at Trader Joe's who moved your cart over with your kid still in it." You'll thank me later.

4) Find something you love and don't apologize for it....unless it's like drugs/stripping then you don't get what I'm saying. I fell in love a bit with running his year. There is nothing more peaceful to me then blaring worship music with my feet hitting the pavement. But it takes work and time. Sometimes it means dinner won't be made until I get back. Sometimes it means Josh gets Thad ready in the mornings or I miss out on a little family time....nothing crazy but I love it. It has become my time with Jesus and it makes me feel really good. What's your thing? DO IT. Because you love it and that matters.




5) Realize that your husband is human. He needs rest too. Sometimes I think he has it SO  much easier than me because he gets to wear fancy clothes, eat meals already made for him, be alone, and not wipe toddler butts....but he's still human. And he needs to me to look out for him. Have his back. Not hound him with to do lists and chores but to check in. Pray for him. And...you might hate me for this but....FREE him to do things HE LOVES AND WANTS TO DO! He is not a bionic robot. He needs rest.






6) God only says truths about me. So when I feel fat or frumpy, not good enough or mean, I have had to train myself  to ask "is this something God would say to me?" And if it's not then I drown it out with truth. Because I'm good enough. I'm made with wonder. His spirit dwells in me and I am free. I am funny and I'm a good friend. I can make people laugh and feel loved. Free people free people.




7) "here I am" vs "there you are" I want to be someone who focuses on others instead of trying to be the center. I want to love others in a way that enables them to be themselves. I want to be a person who other people can tell their fears to, dreams to, prayers to, weaknesses to. I want to be someone who other people feel safe around. Thanks God Jesus showed me how. I'm working on it.




8) I am learning how to be funny without being mean. (My grandma does this very well.)




9) My son will be his own person. Who God created him to be. With or without my consent. I want him to be kind and generous, gentle and polite, wise and loving, but Jesus will teach him those things best so I need to do my best to teach him Jesus.








10) Carry this world with an open hand. I believe in heaven. I believe that this isn't where my story ends and this isn't where my hope is. So my clothes and my shoes, my kitchen tools and cars. This is just stuff being lent to me so that I can share it. Share what I have and who I am. So when money, and bills, and "will we ever own a house" crowds my heart I can remember that these worries don't create my story. And when people I love die, and hurt, are in pain, and hearts are broken I can remember that there is a place with no weeping, where pain is not in our vocabulary, and sorrow doesn't have a place to stay. It's not an apathtic attitude towards life but a lighter touch on this world and an urgency to share who Jesus is and has been to me. 





This year has taught me so much. It's been hard and cold at times but I have never felt more loved and more comfortable in my own skin. And my hope is that I will be able to run with that. As free as ever.


Happy new year! 


YOU are loved and treasured and GOOD ENOUGH!!

-erika


4 comments:

  1. I love you and your BEAUTIFUL heart. thank you for sharing!

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    1. Thanks for reading this! I have learned so much and have been so encouraged and inspired by you Luskos. Love you Jennie.

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  2. Thank you so much for your honest and thoughtful words. They really spoke to me!! And you made me laugh without being mean. 👊

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  3. LOVE THIS!!! And #2- for real!!! And maybe a little #3 ;) You are a precious soul, Dear heart.

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