Monday, June 25, 2012

The day can ask for so much sometimes...


There's this moment that I've been getting every day since Thad has been born. It's at approximately 8:00 am. I wake up. No alarm wakes me up, but it's meant to be. Because it's quiet except for the buzzing of a baby mointer. Light is beaming through the blinds and I lay there, preparing myself for another day. Now don't get my wrong, I LOVE being a stay at home mom...I've never been a stay at home anything ever...in 28 years my life has always seemed to find the busy, moving, hustle and bussle. This is the first summer since I've been 18 that I haven't gone to a youth camp as a leader....that's crazy. So...for me, the stay at home gig I'm rocking is the laziest busy I've ever known. But the day comes with a lot of asking. Because at 8:30 on the dot most days I hear the coos and gaas coming from the room across the hall. My boy is awake. And I'll go stagger to turn on the light and there he is, his smiling face! I get that every morning. Then comes the diaper change, the nursing, the changing after he barfs up what I've nursed, then comes cereal making and baby food, then dishes, laundry, some errands, some cuddles, some more diapers, some more meals, some more smiles. See, I really do love it and I've always been known to be busy and I've always had a lot asked of me. But this said moment of 30 minutes where I get to thank the Lord for another day, breathe deep and mentally prepare myself for the diapers, the laundry, the dishes, the cooking, it gives me permission to embrace it. This moment I get every morning refreshes me more than the sleep I just got. It's like the first bite of something, the first bite is always the best. I read this week that parenting without joy is pointless, exhausting, and poisoning. I get how parents can be tired, overwhelmed, even stressed and all those things are ok to feel as long as deep down in the middle of it all you still feel the joy. And I do. Because this little face that smiles, this little heartbeat that sleeps in 30 minutes after me so I can recharge...this little guy that I can call my own, well he's my day. So the day may ask for too much sometimes, but I will never tire of giving him enough. That's my joy. I hope you can find yours in your day.

-Erika

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