Wednesday, February 29, 2012

My way (Anyone else hummin' Usher?)

        My morning routine has been quite jacked with since the arrival of Prince Thaddeus. My first action upon meeting the day is to pop out a boobie and fill his belly. Before I used to get up & make the bed. I'm lucky if that even gets done before it's time to hibernate back into it and start the cycle again. But when it is time to make it....I do it with such precision. With such strategic planning and think I'm kidding, I'm not. I strip the whole bed, I whip the sheets (as to rid them of the night's sleep's dead skin particles), I make sure the sheets are tucked in, then comes the down comforter, equal on all sides mind you, then comes the yellow quilt I got on clearance at Target that made my whole month of November. Then I fold the yellow quilt back about 5....sometimes 6 inches if I'm feeling bold...the white pillows go in back, the yellow pillows in front, then the 2 throw pillows in front of those. And wa-la. The bed is made. And it's hot diggity dog damn beautiful. It is. But alas, the days of OCD bed making are rare and spare apart, and sometimes the man of the house makes the bed. Now, Josh's way of making the bed is to just cover it with the comforter, pull over the yellow quilt, hop those pillows on and DONE! The sheets are crooked on each end and you can't help but notice the bulge of sheet remainder covered by the comforter that makes you jus want to say "It's not a tumah." There is a huge point to this story so keep reading....we are close. After months of "fixing" the way my loving husband makes the bed I was one day in mid grump whining to myself "What can't he just make the bed right?! I don't understand how he doesn't know how...." I felt that ever so gentle butt kick from my most patient Savior just stop me in mid self pity and it hit me....he reminded me of something I swore I'd be good at once we had a baby.....the fact that my husband KNOWS how to make a bed....just because he doesn't do it MY WAY doesn't mean he isn't doing it right. Ouch. Because it's not just the bed, it's down to the way he vacuums, or cooks, or folds laundry, or fills up the gas tank, and recently how he fathers our son. See folks, I promised myself I was never going to be that naggy mother that belittles her husband to do things the way SHE does them because I'm home all day with our baby and have gotten the routine down, but here I have been and I heard myself saying things like "Honey, if you change him sitting up it works better", "No don't wash his face like that, do it like this..", "Wait, hold him this way, not that way."....etc...etc..etc. Here's the thing. Josh is Thad's dad. I am Thad's mom. I'm going to do certain things a certain way and Josh is going to do it a certain way. He's going to hold Thad like he's the Dad, I don't want him to hold him like a mom, cause I'm the mom. You get it?! Do you get it? Things are going to look different, be different, be done differently, and it's not wrong, it's different, and that makes it right. Josh is the dad. And he's such an amazing one, he's an amazing man, why would I ever want to make him act like the mom? That's just gross. So this past month I found myself letting things go, letting Josh do things the way he does them and then thanking God I have a husband who knows who he is and isn't afraid to be himself! Because the truth is I don't want a husband who lets me push him around or let's me have my way all the time....because that sounds like a really selfish and musty way to live. I like a little flare in my days, in my life. So I let him make the bed the way he makes it and then I thank God my husband makes the bed. So I'm ok with the coffee mugs not all hanging on the rack, because whatever, they are still cups, and I thank God my husband helps me with housework. And I let him be rough with Thad and I smile even when I'm nervous that that might be too rough for a 3 month old, because my husband LOVES his son, and I thank God my son will have a father who will teach him how to be a man. This is what I am learning. It's made life a lot more free.

So the next time you come over and there is a sheet bundled underneath the comforter and the yellow quilt is draped a little too much to the left, pat me on the back, and let me know I'm doing allright. I'd appreciate it.

'til next time....


  1. Good for you! Its hard for me to let things go from my idea of "perfection" Working on being more of a Mary and less of a martha...

  2. Just so everyone knows, the sheets are straight. The bed DOES have a tumor and we'd like to ask for prayer.

    Wife, I'm incredibly blessed to be married to you. You have made such a difference in the man I want to be and in the love I've gotten to see in Christ. I love you more than I ever knew I could.